How to talk about veterinary coaching with your team member: A leader's guide to having THAT conversation

We all want to support our teams, right?

You've spotted it – that team member who has so much potential but seems stuck, or maybe the one who's doing great but could absolutely soar with the right support. You've been thinking about coaching support for them, but now you're staring at a blank text message or rehearsing conversations in your head, wondering how on earth you bring this up without it sounding like "we think you need fixing."

We get it. This conversation feels loaded, doesn't it?

But here's the thing – offering coaching to a team member can be one of the most meaningful investments you make in someone's career. You just need to know how to frame it right.

Let's break this down so you can have this conversation with confidence, kindness, and clarity.

First Things First: What actually IS veterinary coaching?

Coaching can be online, or in person

Before you can talk about coaching with your team, you need to be crystal clear about what you're actually offering. Because if you're fuzzy on the details, the conversation's going to feel awkward for everyone involved.

Coaching isn't therapy (we're not unpacking childhood trauma). It's also not you sitting them down for a performance review disguised as "development."

Professional coaching for veterinary professionals is about:

• Unlocking potential that's already there

• Building confidence and self-awareness

• Creating clarity around career goals and next steps

• Developing skills for handling challenges

• Building sustainable wellbeing and boundary setting

• Setting doable habits with a flexible mindset

• Supporting someone to become the human (and professional) they want to be

Think of it as them having a professional self-awareness partner who asks brilliant questions and helps create actionable steps toward their goals, whilst being compassionate to themselves too.

(Pssst... it's invaluable for leaders too!)

Let's Bust Some Myths (Because they're everywhere)

Olympic athletes have coaches

Myth: "Coaching is only for people who are struggling"

Reality: This is like saying personal trainers are only for people who can't lift a box up. Olympic athletes have coaches. Top executives have coaches. Coaching is for people who want to excel and feel aligned in life, not just survive.

Some of the best coaching relationships happen with team members who are already doing well but want to level up, explore new opportunities, or develop specific skills.

Myth: "It means there's something wrong with them"

Reality: Offering coaching is actually saying "I see incredible potential in you and I want to invest in helping you reach it." It's the opposite of there being something wrong – it's recognition that there's something very right.

Myth: "It's too expensive to be worth it"

Reality: Let's talk numbers for a hot minute. The cost of replacing a veterinary team member can range from £10,000-£30,000+ when you factor in recruitment, training, lost productivity, and the impact on team morale.

Compare that to a coaching package that might run £1,000-£3,000 and could help someone stay, thrive, and become even more valuable to your practice? The financial ROI is pretty compelling.

On a human basis, time and time again we hear leaders telling us how much their team member has grown in confidence, how they're bringing ideas to the table and how much more fulfilled they seem at work.

Beyond that, imagine how much they'll remember you as a leader.

The real ROI of veterinary team member coaching

The ROI is bigger than you think

Let's get practical about why this investment makes business sense:

Retention: Team members who feel invested in and supported are significantly more likely to stay. In a profession with sky-high turnover, this alone pays dividends.

Performance: Confident, clear, motivated team members provide better client service, make fewer mistakes, and contribute more positively to team culture.

Leadership development: Coaching often reveals and develops natural leaders within your team – people who might become your next head nurse, senior vet, or practice partner.

Reduced stress and burnout: When people have tools to handle challenges and clarity about their path, they're less likely to burn out or become disengaged.

Ripple effects: One person working on their communication skills or confidence often positively impacts the entire team dynamic.

Innovation and growth: Team members who feel supported are more likely to suggest improvements, take on new challenges, and contribute to practice development.

How to actually have this conversation

Right, this is the big one. Having this conversation well can be career-changing for your team member. Having it poorly can damage relationships and make them feel criticised or singled out.

So let's get this really, really right. These are suggestions, we trust that you know your team even better than we do; take what you need and leave what you don't.

Before you say a word: The Setup

Choose your timing wisely. This isn't a corridor conversation or something you squeeze in between surgeries. Research shows that people are more receptive to development conversations when they're not stressed, rushed, or dealing with competing priorities.

• Avoid Mondays (everyone's overwhelmed) and Fridays (they're thinking about the weekend). Tuesday to Thursday, mid-morning or early afternoon tends to work best when people have settled into their day but aren't yet fatigued. (Yeah, we know in vetmed animals don't know our best laid plans!).

• Book proper time. This conversation needs at least 20-30 minutes, potentially longer. If you try to rush it, it'll feel transactional rather than genuinely supportive.

• Choose the right environment. Somewhere private where you won't be interrupted. Not your office if that feels intimidating – maybe a quiet corner of the staff room or even offsite if that's more comfortable. The physical environment should signal "this is a supportive conversation" not "you're in trouble."

• Give them a heads up. Nobody likes being ambushed. When you book the meeting, be honest about the purpose:

  "I'd like to chat with you about some development opportunities I've been thinking about. Nothing urgent or concerning – just want to explore some ways we might be able to support your growth. Would next Tuesday work for a proper conversation?"

  This gives them time to mentally prepare rather than spending the entire lead-up wondering what they've done wrong. You might find it helpful to give them forewarning on any key questions you'd like them to think about ahead of the meeting.

Opening the conversation: First impressions matter

Come from a place of seeing their potential

Start with genuine warmth. Your opening sets the tone for everything that follows. Research on psychological safety shows that people need to feel valued and safe before they can engage openly with developmental feedback.

Begin with affirmation, maybe something along the lines of: "I've been thinking about you and your development because I see so much potential in you", or, "I really value you being part of our team and I'd love to see where we can keep supporting you:

Be transparent about your intentions: "I wanted to have a conversation about some opportunities that might interest you"

Bring concrete, specific examples:

Vague suggestions can create anxiety. Specific, evidence-based examples create clarity about why coaching might be valuable.

Connect coaching to things they've already told you or situations you've both observed:

• "I remember our conversation a few months ago when you mentioned feeling like you wanted to be more confident speaking up in team meetings. Last week when you did share that idea about the new appointment system, it was brilliant – and I could see you hesitating before you spoke. I'd be really keen to discuss where we could support you. For example, that's exactly the kind of thing coaching can help with."

• "You mentioned during your last review that you'd love to develop your leadership skills. I've been watching how the newer staff naturally come to you for guidance, but I've also noticed you sometimes seem unsure whether to step into that role more formally. I'd love to see where we can support you to explore that, for example a coach could really help you explore what leadership looks like for you."

• "I know you've been thinking about your long-term career path – whether to specialise, maybe consider management, or explore other options. Remember when you said you felt a bit stuck about how to figure out your next steps? I wanted to see if we could chat about where to help support you, for example that's exactly what coaching is designed to help with."

• "After that difficult case last month where the client was really upset, you mentioned feeling like you handled the clinical side fine but wished you felt more confident managing the emotional side of those conversations. I was keen to discuss how we could help support your growth in this area, coaching has helped past team members really build these skills."

These examples work because they:

1. Reference things they've actually said they want to work on

2. Connect their stated interests to observable situations

3. Show why coaching is relevant to their specific goals

4. Make the suggestion feel logical rather than random

Ask Questions Instead of Making Statements

Curiosity, curiosity, curiosity.

This is where most people go wrong. They turn it into a monologue instead of a dialogue. Questions engage people in thinking rather than just receiving information.

With our trauma-informed hat on, we'd suggest you set the scene to ask questions. Some people panic and feel put on the spot, with an internal pressure to have the right answer.

A few kind words at the start can help: "I wanted to ask you a few questions so I can more fully understand where you're at and how I might be able to offer support. I definitely don't expect you to have all the answers, and it's ok if you'd like to come back to me on some of them, or even if the answer is 'I don't know right now' ".

Soooo, instead of: "I think coaching would be good for you."

Try:

• "We haven't checked in for a while, how are you doing?"

• "What are your thoughts on your own development right now? Are there any areas you'd love to grow in or challenges you'd like support with?"

• "What would be most valuable for you professionally right now?"

• "If you could wave a magic wand and feel more confident or skilled in one area of your work, what would that be?"

• "What kind of support has been most helpful for you in the past when you were learning something new?"

These questions help you understand their perspective before you offer solutions.

Maybe they'll identify exactly the areas where coaching could help. Maybe they'll reveal they're actually considering leaving the profession. Either way, you need to know where they are before you can suggest where they might go.

Give them time to think (you're going to have to get comfortable with silence)

When you ask a good question, resist the urge to fill the silence. People need processing time, especially when they're thinking about their own development and potential.

Count to seven in your head after asking a question. It feels like forever, but it's not. It's thinking time.

If they say "I don't know," don't immediately jump to the next question.

Try: "That's okay – it's not something most people have ready answers to. What comes to mind when you think about it?"

Again, remember:

"No pressure to have an answer right now. What would help you think about it?"

Make coaching normal, not singling them out

Coaching has become more of a conversation, let's normalise it.

Ask them: "Have you come across coaching before, or worked with a coach on anything?"

Help them understand that considering coaching is what high-performers do, not what struggling people need:

You might like to say something along the lines of:

"I've been learning more about professional coaching for people in our field over the last few years. It's interesting – it's not about fixing, it's more about unlocking potential that's already there and giving you space to figure out what helps you grow further. A bit like how athletes have coaches even when they're performing well."

"Some of the most successful vets/RVNs/PMs I know work with coaches regularly, it has really helped members of our team previously in areas they'd like to develop in."

Maybe you might feel comfortable sharing where coaching has made a difference in your life.

Present options, not directions

So, what now?

So, we've set the scene. We've brought concrete examples. We've asked them where they'd like to develop. We've normalised coaching.

Research on autonomy shows that people are much more likely to engage with development opportunities when they feel they have choice and control.

Now, time to put coaching on the table, for example:

"There are a few ways we could support your development. Professional coaching is one option – working with someone who specialises in helping veterinary professionals develop skills and confidence. There are also other options like additional training, conference attendance, or mentoring. What sounds most appealing to you?"

If appropriate:

"We'd be happy to fund some professional development for you. Coaching is one option I think could be really valuable, but I want to know what feels right for you."

Check in, and address their likely concerns head-on

Take a moment and check in, with curiosity and not judgement

Ask them: "How does this sound to you?" "What are your first thoughts?"

Most people will have predictable worries. It can be helpful to address these proactively:

• About time: "I know everyone's busy, so this would be designed to fit around your schedule. Most coaching sessions are 45-60 minutes, maybe once a fortnight, and we'd work around your shifts."

• About judgement: "This would be completely confidential between you and your coach. They wouldn't be reporting back to me about what you discuss."

• About cost: "This would be something the practice invests in – no cost to you."

• About expectations: "There wouldn't be any pressure to achieve specific outcomes or report back on progress. This is about supporting your development in whatever direction makes sense for you."

Read their body language and adapt

If they seem excited: Great! Give them more information about the coaches (you could even send them our way!) and next steps.

If they seem hesitant: Slow down. Ask more questions about their reservations, with curiosity. "I'm genuinely curious, what is it that isn't landing right now?"

If they seem confused: Step back and explain more about what coaching actually involves.

If they seem skeptical: Acknowledge that it might sound unfamiliar and offer to share more information for them to think about.

If they seem overwhelmed: Reassure them there's no rush to decide and offer to revisit the conversation later.

If you're not sure, give them time, space and offer further information or a follow up chat.

End with Clear Next Steps

Don't let the conversation just fizzle out. Be clear about what happens next:

• If they're interested: "Great! Let me put together some information about how this works and some options for coaches who have expertise in working with [vets/vet nurses]. I'll email that to you by [specific day], and then we can chat again once you've had a chance to look through it. How does that sound?"
  

• If they need time to think: "Totally understand – it's not something you need to decide right now. Why don't I send you some information about what professional coaching involves, and you can have a think about whether it feels like something that might be valuable for you? No pressure either way."
  

• If they're not interested: "No worries at all – I just wanted to put it out there as an option. Are there other ways I can support your development that might feel more appealing?"

Follow up appropriately

If you promised information, send it when you said you would. Reliability matters.

Give them genuine time to think – don't follow up the next day asking for a decision.

About a week later, check in: "Hi, I just wanted to check if you had any questions about the coaching information I sent over. No rush on deciding anything – just wanted to make sure I hadn't left you waiting with any questions."

Be okay with 'no.' If they decide it's not for them, accept that gracefully and move on to other ways to support their development.

Sample Conversation Starters

If you know your team and just want some example conversation openers and a shorter process:

• For someone with leadership potential: "I've been watching how naturally the team comes to you for guidance, and I think you have real leadership potential. I'd love to support you with some professional coaching to help you explore and develop those skills further. What would you think about that?"

• For someone lacking confidence: "I see how knowledgeable and skilled you are, and I'd love to help you feel as confident as you deserve to feel in your abilities. I've been wondering about whether some professional coaching might be helpful – it's something I've seen work really well for [vets/nurses] who want to build their confidence. Would that be something you'd be interested in exploring?"

• For someone considering career changes: "I know you've been thinking about your next steps career-wise. I wondered if you'd find it helpful to work with a professional coach who has expertise in helping veterinary professionals navigate career decisions? No pressure, just thought I'd offer it as an option."
  

What NOT to Do

Let's be real about the approaches that backfire. Here's our personal list of "don'ts"...

• Don't 'diagnose': "You have imposter syndrome/anxiety/confidence issues"

• Don't make it about problems: "We need to fix your..."

• Don't make it mandatory: "Everyone has to do coaching"

• Don't spring it on them: Have this conversation when you both have time and mental space

• Don't make it about the practice's needs: Focus on their development, not how it benefits you

If they say no...

And they might! That's completely okay and doesn't mean you've failed or they're ungrateful.

Respect their decision: "No worries at all, I just wanted to offer it as an option."

Leave the door open: "If you change your mind or want to know more about it later, just let me know."

Follow through on alternatives: If you offered other development options, make sure those actually happen.

Don't take it personally: Their response to coaching isn't a reflection of how they feel about you or the practice.

Remember to document your conversation.

Following Up

If they're interested:

Give them information: Share resources about what coaching involves, maybe some testimonials or success stories.

Let them research: "Have a look at this information and let me know what questions you have."

Connect them directly: Once you've chosen a coaching provider, let the team member have a discovery call directly with the coach. We can sort this out at our end.

Check in appropriately: Ask how it's going occasionally, but don't micromanage or expect detailed reports.

Resources from Vet Empowered:

• You can download the Vet Empowered Coaching Guide PDF here and share it with your team member.

• Feel free to share some of our testimonials

• If they'd like to express interest in 1:1 or group coaching with us, they can do so here and we'll get a discovery call in the diary with them.

Making It Sustainable

If you're considering coaching for multiple team members:

• Start small: Maybe begin with one or two people and see how it goes.

• Budget for it: Make professional development (including coaching) a line item in your budget.

• Create a policy: Decide on criteria for who gets access, how much you'll invest, and what's expected.

• Measure impact: Track retention, engagement, and performance to justify continued investment.

• Normalise it: Make professional development conversations a regular part of your management approach.

The Bottom Line

You've got this!

Having conversations about coaching opportunities doesn't have to be awkward or loaded. When you approach it from a place of genuine investment in someone's potential rather than trying to fix problems, it becomes a conversation about possibilities rather than deficiencies.

Remember: You're not trying to convince anyone. You're offering an opportunity for someone to invest in themselves with your support. That's actually a pretty amazing gift to be able to offer.

The veterinary profession comes with enough challenges. When we can support each other to not just survive but truly thrive, everyone wins – the individual, the team, the practice, and ultimately the animals and clients we serve.

Your turn: Is there someone on your team who could benefit from this conversation? What's one small step you could take this week to start that dialogue?

Looking for veterinary coaching providers for your team? We'd love to chat about how we can support your team members' development. Drop us an email at hello@vetempowered.com to discuss options and pricing for workplace-funded coaching.