Today, we're diving into a topic that might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but trust us, it's going to be empowering AF.
We're talking about taking your power back and realising that nobody is coming to save you.
Nobody is coming to make the changes for us, or to take the breaks on our behalf.
Now, before you panic, let us explain why this is actually fantastic news!
Stick with us.
Understanding the Victim Mindset (No Judgement, We Promise!)
First things first, let's talk about the victim mindset. This isn't about placing blame or making anyone feel bad. In fact, it's a completely normal human response to challenging situations.
When we're in a victim mindset, we might feel helpless, like things are happening to us rather than for us or because of us. We might find ourselves waiting for someone else to fix our problems or change our circumstances. We blame others and external things outwith our control.
Here's the thing: this mindset isn't a character flaw. It's a protective mechanism that our brains use to cope with stress and uncertainty. So, if you've found yourself in this headspace, please be kind to yourself.
You're not alone, and it doesn't make you weak or incapable.
We have definitely been there too, and facing this takes a whole heap of self compassion.
You can also ask for help, or talk it out. (Remember, Vetlife is available 24/7 for those in the UK too.)
Well done for keeping reading, we realise this is a hard truth to face.
(We also aren't talking actual victims here - we get that this situation is very different.)
The Science Behind Learned Helplessness
Research in psychology has shown that the victim mindset, also known as learned helplessness, can develop as a response to repeated exposure to stressful or traumatic events.
We hate sharing this next part, but we have to give you the lowdown. We don't condone it in any way. There was a horrendous study by Seligman and Maier in 1967, that demonstrated that when animals were exposed to inescapable shocks, they later failed to escape even when given the opportunity. They assumption was they'd reached a conclusion that no matter what they tried, nothing would help them escape and they stopped trying. This concept has been applied to human behaviour, helping to explain why people sometimes feel powerless to change their circumstances.
However, the good news is that this mindset can be unlearned. Studies have shown that cognitive-behavioural interventions can help individuals shift from a helpless mindset to a more empowered one (Forgeard et al., 2011).
The Karpman Drama Triangle: A Model for Understanding Relationship Dynamics
To further understand the victim mindset, it's helpful to explore the Karpman Drama Triangle. Developed by Stephen Karpman in the 1960s, this social model of human interaction illustrates three habitual roles people play in stressful or conflict situations:
1. Victim: Feels powerless, helpless, and unable to solve their own problems.
2. Rescuer: Feels compelled to help the victim, often neglecting their own needs.
3. Persecutor: Criticises and blames others, often to avoid feeling or being seen as a victim themselves.
We might find ourselves play multiple roles, or switch between them. Again, this is all without judgement. Each role exacerbates the other. The rescuer enables the victim to feel as though they need saving etc.
In the veterinary world, we might find ourselves playing these roles without even realising it. For example:
Victim: "I'm always stuck with the difficult clients. It's not fair!"
Rescuer: "I'll stay late again to finish everyone else's work. They need me."
Persecutor: "If the other vets were more competent, we wouldn't be in this mess."
The key to breaking free from this triangle is to recognise when we're playing these roles and consciously choose to step out of them.
This is where empowerment comes in.
We talk about the empowerment triangle in this free webinar on Confident Conversations we did with Management for Locums, catch up here.
Empowerment: Your Superpower in Disguise
Now, let's talk about empowerment. There's a reason we are called Vet Empowered, in fact, it's a trademark.
Empowerment is about recognising that while we can't control everything in our lives (hello, unpredictable emergency shifts!), we do have control over our responses, our actions, and our mindset. And remember, you're also human.
Being empowered means:
Taking responsibility for your life and your choices
Believing in your ability to handle challenges, and asking for help being part of that.
Focusing on solutions rather than problems - be resourceful AF
Recognising your strengths and using them
Setting boundaries and advocating for yourself
Remembering your value - it has always been there.
It's not about being perfect or never needing help. It's about knowing that you have the inner resources to navigate life's challenges, even when they're tough.
The Science of Empowerment
Research has shown that psychological empowerment is linked to numerous positive outcomes. A meta-analysis by Seibert et al. (2011) found that empowerment was associated with increased job satisfaction, organisational commitment, and job performance. It also feels GREAT.
Moreover, studies in the healthcare sector have demonstrated that empowered healthcare professionals provide better patient care. For instance, a study by Laschinger et al. (2009) found that nurses who felt more empowered reported higher levels of job satisfaction and were less likely to experience burnout.
Sold yet?
Key Questions to Ask Yourself
Ready to start your empowerment journey? Here are some questions to ponder:
1. What areas of my life do I feel powerless in right now?
2. What small step could I take today to improve my situation? Who could help me?
3. What strengths do I have that I'm not fully utilising?
4. What am I waiting for to 'save' me?
5. If I knew I couldn't fail, what would I do differently?
6. How am I playing the victim, rescuer, or persecutor roles in my life?
7. What would it look like to take full responsibility for my life and career?
Now, it might not feel like the right time to ask these questions - and you might benefit to have someone else helping you.
What's Actually in Your Control?
It's easy to feel like everything is out of our hands, especially in the often chaotic world of veterinary medicine.
This is a powerful question to keep asking ourselves: What IS in my control here?
Here are some reminders, there is often so much that you do have control over:
1. Your reactions to situations
2. The boundaries you set
3. How you treat yourself and others
4. The skills you choose to develop
5. The mindset you cultivate
6. The help you ask for
7. Your self-care routines
8. The relationships you nurture
9. The goals you set for yourself
10. The way you communicate your needs and feelings
Remember, taking control doesn't mean you have to do everything alone. It means recognising when you need support and actively seeking it out.
Actionable Steps to Reclaim Your Power
1. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you become more aware of your thoughts and reactions, allowing you to respond more intentionally. Try apps like Headspace or Calm for guided meditations. We have a whole bank of meditations in the Vet Empowered Signature Programme.
2. Set yourself some small and meaningful goals. Celebrate the heck out of them.
3. Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth. When faced with a setback, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?"
4. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a friend. Research by Kristin Neff has shown that self-compassion is linked to greater emotional resilience. Learn more about self-compassion here.
5. Build Your Support Network: Surround yourself with supportive, positive people who encourage your growth.
6. Learn to Say No: Setting boundaries is crucial for empowerment. Practice saying no to things that don't align with your values or goals. You can also catch up on our free boundaries webinar here.
7. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small. This builds confidence and motivation.
8. Seek Feedback: Ask for constructive feedback from colleagues or mentors. Use this to guide your personal and professional development.
9. Take Responsibility: When things go wrong, resist the urge to blame others. Instead, ask yourself, "What can I do differently next time?"
10. Continuous Learning: Invest in your personal and professional development. This could be through formal education, reading, or attending workshops.
Dare to be the change. Take the break. Zig when everyone else zags.
Journal Prompts for Empowerment
We're big fans of journaling at Vet Empowered. In fact, every Sunday at Vet Empowered we run a journaling and meditation session.
Here are some prompts to help you explore this topic further:
1. Describe a time when you felt truly empowered. What contributed to that feeling?
2. What's one area of your life where you'd like to feel more in control? What's one small step you could take towards that?
3. If you woke up tomorrow feeling completely empowered, what would be different?
4. Write about a limiting belief you hold about yourself. How can you challenge and reframe it?
5. Reflect on a recent situation where you notice that you played the victim, rescuer, or persecutor role. How could you approach a similar situation differently in the future?
6. Write a letter to your future empowered self. What advice would they give you?
7. List five of your strengths. How can you use these strengths more in your daily life and work?
8. Describe a boundary you'd like to set in your personal or professional life. What's stopping you from setting it, and how can you overcome that obstacle?
9. Write about a challenge you're currently facing. What aspects of this situation are within your control? What actions can you take to address these aspects?
10. Reflect on a time when you successfully advocated for yourself. How did it feel? What can you learn from that experience?
The Vet Empowered Signature Programme: Your Empowerment Toolkit
If you're reading this and thinking, "This all sounds great, but how do I actually do it?", we've got you covered. Our Vet Empowered Signature Programme is designed to help you reconnect with your innate power, boost your confidence, and create a life and career that truly lights you up.
In this transformative programme, we dive deep into topics like:
Understanding and managing your mindset
Building unshakeable confidence
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries
Cultivating resilience in the face of challenges
Aligning your career with your values and strengths
Developing emotional intelligence
Mastering effective communication
Creating work-life harmony
Navigating career transitions and growth
Our programme is based on evidence-based practices from positive psychology, somatic and trauma informed coaching, cognitive-behavioural techniques, and more. We combine these scientific approaches with our deep understanding of the unique challenges faced by veterinary professionals.
What sets our programme apart is our holistic approach. We don't just focus on your professional life – we help you create balance and fulfillment in all areas of your life. Because let's face it, when you're thriving personally, you bring your best self to work too.
Plus, you'll be part of a supportive community of like-minded veterinary professionals who are all on this journey of growth and empowerment together. This peer support is invaluable – research has shown that social support is a key factor in resilience and well-being (Ozbay et al., 2007).
You can read what previous participants have said on our testimonials page.
Want to know more about coaching in general, download our free guide here.
Remember, You've Got This!
We get it, it can sometimes feel quite confronting to realise we've been experiencing learned helplessness. We have been there too, it can feel really uncomfortable and we absolutely aren't denying that.
Taking your power back isn't about becoming a superhero overnight. It's about recognising the strength, resilience, and capability that's always been within you. It's about making the choice, every day, to show up for yourself.
You've already done incredibly hard things. You've navigated vet school and/or nursing training, dealt with challenging cases, and survived those nights on call. You are so much more capable than you give yourself credit for.
The journey to empowerment is ongoing. There will be ups and downs, steps forward and steps back. That's okay. What matters is that you keep showing up, keep learning, and keep believing in yourself.
So, here's our challenge to you:
What's one small step you can take today to reclaim your power? It could be setting a boundary, asking for help, or giving yourself credit for something you've achieved.
Remember, we're here cheering you on every step of the way. You've got this, and we can't wait to see you shine!
Ready to take the next step on your empowerment journey? We'd love to chat about how the Vet Empowered Signature Programme could support you. Drop us an email at hello@vetempowered.com or check out our website for more information.
Here's to your empowered future!
References:
Forgeard, M. J., Haigh, E. A., Beck, A. T., Davidson, R. J., Henn, F. A., Maier, S. F., ... & Seligman, M. E. (2011). Beyond depression: Toward a process‐based approach to research, diagnosis, and treatment. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 18(4), 275-299.
Laschinger, H. K. S., Finegan, J., & Wilk, P. (2009). Context matters: The impact of unit leadership and empowerment on nurses' organizational commitment. Journal of Nursing Administration, 39(5), 228-235.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self‐compassion program. Journal of clinical psychology, 69(1), 28-44.
Ozbay, F., Johnson, D. C., Dimoulas, E., Morgan III, C. A., Charney, D., & Southwick, S. (2007). Social support and resilience to stress: from neurobiology to clinical practice. Psychiatry (Edgmont), 4(5), 35.
Seibert, S. E., Wang, G., & Courtright, S. H. (2011). Antecedents and consequences of psychological and team empowerment in organizations: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Applied Psychology, 96(5), 981.
Seligman, M. E., & Maier, S. F. (1967). Failure to escape traumatic shock. Journal of Experimental Psychology, 74(1), 1.
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