If you've arrived here after something has gone wrong at work, please know this first: unexpected outcomes and complaints happen to good, caring vets and vet nurses. Every single one of us. Feeling shaken is a sign that you care, not a sign that you're not good enough.
We tend to talk about unexpected outcomes rather than mistakes, because that's often closer to the truth. Medicine is uncertain. Animals don't read the textbook. You can do everything reasonably and still not get the result anyone hoped for.
Why it hits so hard
It doesn't only hurt because of what happened. It touches something deeper: our sense of who we are. In a profession where so much of our identity is tied to getting it right, one bad day can feel like proof of something we've always secretly feared.
Healthcare researchers have a name for the distress professionals feel after an adverse event: being the "second victim" (Wu, 2000). Replaying it at 2am, dreading going back in, doubting every decision for a while. These are common, human responses. You're not overreacting.
The trick hindsight plays
Once you know how something turned out, it's very hard to remember how uncertain it felt at the time. Psychologists call this hindsight bias (Fischhoff, 1975): knowing the outcome makes it seem far more predictable than it really was.
So the version of events you replay at 2am, where the answer was obvious and you missed it, usually isn't a fair picture. At the time, you were making decisions with the information, time and resources you had, often with three other things going on. It's worth asking yourself: what did I actually know then, not what do I know now?
What helps in the first few days
Don't carry it alone. Tell someone you trust: a colleague, your clinical lead, a friend outside vetmed. You don't need the right words. "Something happened and I'm not OK" is enough.
Get the practical support you're entitled to. If there's a complaint or claim, speak to your practice and contact your professional indemnity provider or defence organisation early. They deal with this every day, and they're there to guide you. You don't have to work out the process by yourself.
Talk to Vetlife. The Vetlife Helpline is free, confidential and open 24/7 on 0303 040 2551. You don't need to be in crisis to call. "I can't stop thinking about a case" is a perfectly good reason.
Look after the basics. Sleep, food, water, movement. They sound too simple when your head is spinning. They matter more than ever right now.
Be careful with the 2am verdict. At night, your mind will build the harshest possible story. Notice it. You don't have to believe it.
Ask what you'd say to a colleague. If a friend told you this had happened to them, what would you say? You deserve the same kindness.
Learning, later
There will be a time for reflection and learning, and it matters. But it works best once the initial shock has settled, ideally with support, and in a culture that looks at the whole system rather than searching for someone to blame. Shame makes it harder to learn, not easier.
Getting the right support
If you're finding it hard to cope, please speak to your GP or Vetlife. And if you're wondering what kind of support might help you, now or later, our guide to therapy vs coaching might help you work it out.
